Shrinking in.

I haven’t gone anywhere in a week. True story.

The last time I went anywhere was last Thursday when I went to mass and Adoration.  I had no idea that that would be the last thing I did outside of my home. My world is shrinking in upon itself.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve left the house to run in our neighborhood, but that’s about the extent of my “outings”.

All 6 of us have been under this roof together for almost a full week.  All in all, I can honestly say that, even though it’s been a bit challenging at times, we are still doing ok.  It’s hard when you have teens on one end, and then you have to turn around and deal with a 5 year old on the other end.  I feel like I’m spinning my wheels a lot.

Thankfully, Dan is still home with us.  I’m already dreading the day when he has to return to work.  Yes, it will be harder without another adult around.  But, my worry goes much deeper than that.

I have been visited by some old friends this past week…and not the kind that I would have hoped for.

My seasonal affect disorder has really kicked in.  Day 2 into this isolation, it snowed.  ALL DAY.  Since then, we’ve had probably 90 minutes or less of sunshine. As I am typing this, my “happy light” is glaring at me from the top of the bookcase.  Days seem to drag on and I’m tempted to just shut the blinds and turn on all of the lights in the house to make it brighter.  The gray skies and the rain can stop any time. Really.

My next pal that has been hanging around is my acid reflux.  Oh, let me tell ya, I haven’t missed it and am not happy about it’s return.  I know that I’m stressed, just like everyone else, but it’s getting harder to eat when there is a hot dagger of acid constantly reminding me of it’s presence in my throat.  With the kids arguing and my fear about Dan having to go back to work at the hospital, I haven’t been doing a good job of managing my stress.  I know that going out for a run helps, but it’s getting hard to motivate myself with the rain and gray skies, honestly.  I’d rather curl up into a ball under the blankets and wait for tomorrow.

Last, but not least, I’m not sleeping.  This sucks.  I don’t know if it’s stress, lack of sunlight, or the heartburn, but sleep ain’t happening.  So, I’m grumpy.  And, with the heartburn, I’m not drinking as much coffee.  Not good.

However….I have no right to complain, do I?  No, I do not.  These are minor annoyances.  These are temporary “problems”.  I am not sick.  My husband and children are not sick.  We have what we need here at home.  We are all ok.  I pray that these little problems are the only problems that I have deal with in the near future, because things can change quickly.

And they are changing quickly.  I really have no jobs right now.  Nothing for me to do.  Nothing.  It’s an odd feeling, since just days ago, that was not the case.  Suddenly, the calendar is clear.  No patients, no training, no baseball or softball….nothing.

So, here I sit. Wondering what to do next.  Write.  I can always write.

And, I’m reminded when I go running, that there are indeed other people on this planet.  I see them walking their dogs or shooting hoops in their driveways.  At least I don’t feel like I’m in a Twilight episode.

Take care of yourselves, friends.  Stay safe and check in on the people you care about.  Facetime is great to have in this day and age.  We’ll get through this.

Stay healthy, friends.

Run Happy.

#runningtruths

Amy is a trail runner and triathlete, a coach, a mother of four, an Exercise Physiologist and a Physical Therapist. She lives with her husband, Dan (also a runner and triathlete), and four kids in Ohio.

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