Zero Expectations.

Today I wasn’t motivated.  I woke up at 5:15, but didn’t do anything except lay there.  I listened to my 8 and 3 year olds play in their room together on the monitor, but I didn’t move.  It was still dark, it was so early, and I was so not motivated.

So, I continued to lay on my side, avoiding any type of activity.  I didn’t fall back asleep, as I had hoped.  Eventually, I had to start thinking about what needed to be accomplished today.  With so much going on right now, it’s hard to prioritize everything.  Christmas is right around the corner. I have a total of 14 nieces and nephews to buy for, plus grandparents and siblings….it takes time.   On top of that, there’s my three jobs that I pretty much work 7 days a week at (some of that time is from home, thank goodness).  Then, there’s the business of running a household of 6 people and a dog.

So, I continued to hide out in bed.  I pretended I had no responsibilities and stayed under the covers.

About an hour went by, and I knew I was just putting off the inevitable.  It was time to get up and get started.

First on the agenda; feed people. Three fourths of my kids were up, so I made a nice, healthy breakfast for them.  Then I took breakfast upstairs to my hubby.  I knew he would be moving slowly after running for 5 hours in the rain yesterday.

I had a lot on my mind, but I knew I would have time to get in some miles on the trail.  Still, if I was going to get my run in, it had to be now.  I won’t lie, I have a year end mileage goal that has crept up on me, and I’m still trying to make it happen.  I have a little over 2 weeks left, and I’m giving it a run for the money.

Still, I went into my run today with no expectations at all.  I just wanted to be out there, to clear my head, to play in the woods, and be ready for the rest of the day.  I decided to take my music along today for a little inspiration.  I don’t always do that, but it was gray out, and muddy, and I needed something to get me going.

When I started out, I took my time loosening up and getting into a tempo.  Before I knew it, I was in a pretty good groove.  I had in my mind a hard stop at 3 hours, so I had brought enough nutrition with me to make that happen. I decided to do loops, which took a lot of thinking out of my run.  I was just letting my feet hit the dirt, flying over leaves and roots, enjoying the playfulness that comes from no expectations whatsoever.

I got to a part on the trail that has a slight decline; it’s very subtle, but whenever I am on that section, I feel great.  Yet, today, it was even better.  As I approached the decline that goes down to an overlook, Radiohead came on and flowed through my ear buds.  I slipped into a state where I felt like I was flying down the hill, weightless.  I couldn’t help but let a smile creep across my face; everything was clicking.  It just felt “right”; my planets aligned.  This was where I needed to be right now.  Everything else could wait until later.

I hung on to that feeling of euphoria for as long as I could.  I let it wrap around me like a warm blanket and carry me through the woods.

Before I knew it, my time was up.  My run was over. Back to life I went, back to business, back to reality.  But, what a great escape that run was.  No expectations but totally fulfilled.


Amy is an ultramarathoner and triathlete, a mother of four, an Exercise Physiologist and a Physical Therapist. She lives with her husband, Dan (also an ultramarathoner and triathlete), and kids in Ohio.

2 thoughts on “Zero Expectations.

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